anniversaries

I’ve been pretty open about my sobriety journey and I hope that feels okay that I’ve shared it with you all. Maybe you only ended up here here out of curiosity of a new recipe or utensil recommendation. I think one of the reasons that this has been so impactful is the vulnerability that comes with trusting someone else to prepare food for your family. There’s plenty of time for recipes and gadgets, but I think it’s important to always be starting conversations. I think it’s integral in this life to ensure that your community respects your values and hears your voice. Before leaving restaurant management, I actually had other leaders on my team who showed visible disgust for my over-communication. A part of me kept thinking that there was something wrong with me, because I was always being told to say less. Whenever you’re in a place where the people on your team are wanting you to say less, I hope that you remember just how many tables there are to be sitting at.

Six months ago I had my last drink.

That’s so cool to say out loud. As cool as it is to say, sobriety for me has had very little to do with not drinking. A lot of my journey instead has been reflecting on where my traits were formed and what “hard to face” conversations I’ve locked in a box rather than facing. For a long time I thought that my eating disorder had more to do with how my eating habits were developed. I was sure that my brain was just wired in a way that would only ever be comfortable with fried foods and extra chili, cheese and gravy.

I wasn’t a good person in every story that I’ve wandered into. I wasn’t always the healthiest version of myself and a lot of the versions that I reflect on make me cringe. It’s easy to get defensive and want to tell my perspective when situations arise, because who wants to admit to being the villain? I am constantly overplaying conversations and moments in my head where I should have held more compassion. Situations where I could have been more patient and willing to listen rather than repeating my perspective louder. Getting louder until it’s the only thing that anyone can hear. Making these growths recently, while reflecting on low lows, has been giving me a lot to cheer about. I want to talk about our heavy lows as often as we talk about our triumphant wins.

It’s been such a joy to get to know all of you bunnies and nourish your families. I genuinely take a lot of pride in what we’re sharing. I do think that I’ll look back on this chapter and remember it warmly. A chapter when I gathered families in my community to sit at a beautiful table and make one another better characters in our separate stories.

Six months of sobriety is a great accomplishment that I feel really proud of.

It’s been a year since Ambrosia became an actual legal operating business with more than one client.

It’s been 4 months since I launched the meal prep program. And It’s changed so much since that first package!
4 months or 18 weeks of meal prepping for up to 12 families twice a week, and every single person who ordered that first week is still ordering. That’s powerful.

I’m proud of this thing that WE are doing together.
I’m proud of the constant conversation that we are allowing ourselves to be having.
I’m so, so proud of the willingness to allow me to nurture your bodies with clean nourishing ingredients.

Thank you for making me a better person, bunnies.
Thank you for allowing my voice to share these victories and humilities with you all.

If you are always sending compassion to the people who it’s hard to hold compassion for (that includes yourself) I promise that you’ll look back on this moment and feel proud of who you were in it.

Be mindful and kind and allow yourself grace in this life. Lean into your community for support. You’ll be surprised when you realize how much work it can actually be to let yourself be held.

I love you.